Lawyers the oldest profession?

Although Cruzlaw opened it’s doors in 1996 it is a known fact that the legal trade is probably one of the oldest professions if not the oldest apart from Kings but only because they had the bigger armies at the time. Alas these days we could give them a run with some 118,000 registered lawyers in UK verses 145,000 military personnel. If the fight was in London we’d win as there are 1,760 lawyers for every 1000 residents! Besides being royalty isn’t a profession it’s a gift from God, allegedly. The USA as always has the biggest figures however with the Armed Forces at 1.7 million, lawyers number 1.3 million. There is a picture forming here. Next time forget the war send in the legal team.

Returning back to the oldest profession it is widely and wrongly thought the first lawyers were from ancient Greece. Alas a recently discovered stone with glyphs amongst the ruins of an ancient French boudoir proves different. The glyphs were translated by a professor of ancient script from the Louvre and he reported they contained an itemised bill for the “Lady of the nuit” from her solicitor for defending her right to solicit. This could even open up the possibility that we ARE the oldest profession as we undoubtedly screwed her long before she got her first customer.

The beasts you see painted on the walls of the French caves in Lascaux are clearly a legal bill for something of course they paid in livestock during those ancient times so count the beef people you know I’m right. Any lawyer worth his salt (ancient Roman currency) would know a bill when he saw one. The good thing about the caves is when a new tenant moved in the bill was already on the wall. From whence the time old phrase the “writing is on the wall” came.

Gibraltar too has its fair share and has had for some time (look at those markings found in Gorhams cave for one. Nought & Crosses? Rubbish definitely an ancient form of gate counting (using factors of four) where do you think the saying “count the squares” came from? From early on Gibraltar lawyers proved effective in their billing, in those days 30 minutes constituted one hour and and any suggestion of double billing will be set upon immediately.